Answering Back
Or as we also call it, back-chatting. This is a sideshow; often called “teacher baiting”, and all they want is for you to get hooked-in, which is often not easy to resist! The behaviour is always challenging and sometimes also rude, but remember you are the teacher, – stay in control and be appropriate in your handling of this behaviour, - the least disruptive your own response, the better the outcome will be.
Let’s look at what we can do:
Tactically ignore. Don’t hear it. Nothing quite like indifference to switch off a behaviour – it has no effect so it will disappear as a way of catching the teacher.
If a student is in the habit of getting in the last word, take her or him aside and give an “I message”. “When I say something and people have to have the last word every time, it gets really irritating, particularly when people are rude. I don’t do this to you and I expect you not to do it to me. Okay?”
Use your own words and if the student is unaware of what they are doing, just point it out to them. Remember not to name, blame or criticize. Don’t use “you”, as in “you do this … etc”. The student will immediately become defensive and you’ll find yourself in an argument. Just point our what they are doing and how you feel about it.
Another reason for this kind of behaviour can be the need for peer acceptance. There’s nothing quite so “great” for the young as being able to get one-up on their teacher because it raises their peer profile. The trick is to avoid getting hooked-in.
Some children only feel okay when they are in control or when they can challenge you. Don’t get caught in a power struggle, nobody wins! You might seemingly be the victor but you won’t have built any kind of relationship with your student, and you would have just set the scene for more power struggles. If this is the case: when you are feeling more in control and calmer, take the student aside and give an “I” statement, as above.
Or as we also call it, back-chatting. This is a sideshow; often called “teacher baiting”, and all they want is for you to get hooked-in, which is often not easy to resist! The behaviour is always challenging and sometimes also rude, but remember you are the teacher, – stay in control and be appropriate in your handling of this behaviour, - the least disruptive your own response, the better the outcome will be.
Let’s look at what we can do:
Tactically ignore. Don’t hear it. Nothing quite like indifference to switch off a behaviour – it has no effect so it will disappear as a way of catching the teacher.
If a student is in the habit of getting in the last word, take her or him aside and give an “I message”. “When I say something and people have to have the last word every time, it gets really irritating, particularly when people are rude. I don’t do this to you and I expect you not to do it to me. Okay?”
Use your own words and if the student is unaware of what they are doing, just point it out to them. Remember not to name, blame or criticize. Don’t use “you”, as in “you do this … etc”. The student will immediately become defensive and you’ll find yourself in an argument. Just point our what they are doing and how you feel about it.
Another reason for this kind of behaviour can be the need for peer acceptance. There’s nothing quite so “great” for the young as being able to get one-up on their teacher because it raises their peer profile. The trick is to avoid getting hooked-in.
Some children only feel okay when they are in control or when they can challenge you. Don’t get caught in a power struggle, nobody wins! You might seemingly be the victor but you won’t have built any kind of relationship with your student, and you would have just set the scene for more power struggles. If this is the case: when you are feeling more in control and calmer, take the student aside and give an “I” statement, as above.